I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize