Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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