You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
