11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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