The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
