don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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