some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
