She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
