playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
