I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize