quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're a waste of cheezeits
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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