I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
