took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
