I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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