it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
