Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I deserve to be covered in dicks
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
