i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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