just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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