I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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