Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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