I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
