i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
