I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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