New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
