I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
