I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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