He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
