After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
