I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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