THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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