we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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