I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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