actually, I'm a sock model
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
