Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
