Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
