C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
