I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
