At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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