I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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