can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
