haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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