my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
