yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
