Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
