God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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