Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
