Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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