I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
