That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
