I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize