You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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