You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
