his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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