I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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