Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Randomize
