i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
