he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
