Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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