hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
