Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
