Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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