Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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