..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize