If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
